Tossing and turning in the heat, she fell out of her bed. We snuggled and shushed her to no avail, and finally found our little flashlight and clicked it on.
Her little face was covered in blood, pouring from her mouth.
I ran to the sink with a washcloth. No water.
She knocked her little front tooth all the way back into the roof of her mouth.
Yesterday was a definingly painful day in Matt's and my life. Not only did Friday morning begin with having to let a staff member go--always awful--but after months of praying and sleepless nights, fasting and counsel and more counsel, a very painful and necessary and excruciating conversation happened yesterday.
Terribly.
The "worst case scenario" versionwe had imagined beforehand of how that might go was brought to fruition.
While there might be some peace, eventually, for lovingly doing what must be done, there is no joy. Even the peace will come softly.
The afternoon and evening were agonizing and full of many tears.
The night, then, bloody and hot...too much.
Unable to toss any longer, I finally just got up, begging for His presence above all else. Above all understanding. Above all peace.
His presence. Thick.
"His blessings were nothing to Mary in comparison with knowing Jesus Himself," Oswald reminds me in the dark, dried blood still on my arm.
I put Chambers away and pull out His Word, His voice I long to hear above all else, knowing Him, all I want to know.
I sift to where I left off, today, 2 Corinthians 9, begging God to show me how to process, how to worship, how to understand all this.
And do you know what He told me, loud and clear in the morning heat, His words under my fingertips?
Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart,
not grudgingly or being forced,
for God loves a cheerful giver. vs 7
God loves a cheerful giver.
God loves a cheerful giver.
Our friend. God loves a cheerful giver.
Our feelings. God loves a cheerful giver.
Our hopes. God loves a cheerful giver.
Our desires. God loves a cheerful giver.
Our little Sofie. God loves a cheerful giver.
Her tooth and all our sadness over her holey smile. God loves a cheerful giver.
This ministry, this work, these burdens, these joys. God loves a cheerful giver.
And God is able to make all grace abound to you,
so that always having all sufficiency in everything,
you may have abundance for every good deed. vs 8
Oh, God. Able to make all grace abound,
that we might have ALL THAT WE NEED to for every good deed. to give MORE.
Cheerfully.
I give it all. Take it all. From our closest brother to our daughter's tiny tooth.
All the tears I can't contain, all the broken from the last 24 hours.
I give it all.
His righteousness endures forever. vs 9
His blessings, this morning, are nothing compared with knowing Jesus Himself.
That, family, changes everything.
Right when we needed everything changed.
Praise His name.
***quick update...we left Sofie's dangly tooth in it's socket till morning. We prayed throughout the rest of the night, and this morning, while her tooth is still very loose, it is far more connected than it was in the middle of the night...We're speaking to a dentist today and we'll see.
Perceptive. Give, or surrender--it all means the same. Yet, so many preachers use this text only in conjunction with money. Thank you for your insights. I will be sharing this on my facebook page. Perhaps it will enlighten some of my friends as it did me.
ReplyDelete