with HOPE.

I knew when I couldn't remember today whether I had read through Romans 15 or not that there was no going on to 16 until I worked through it again.

And I'm so glad I did.  Guess I needed it twice.

This has been a week of much intensity and moments of high emotion.  My family's little dog, Ellie, passed away Monday and I think my sister and I did nothing but cry over the phone the whole 25 minutes we talked.

my sister, my mom's sister, Ellie and I

We always say family dog, but in reality, she was one of my mom's great loves and joys and comforts, and losing El-Bell is just hard all over again.  You know.

Our final week of classes has meant much craziness...trying to get final graduation things ordered because it takes at least 2 weeks for most mail to arrive...closing the books for April--frustrating hours pouring over little details.  I feel old.  Haven't begun to prepare for final exams next week.  Haven't had any commitments for Jorgia...praying.  Devoted to "devoted to prayer" from last week.  Going to sit with Lilibeth this afternoon.

Today, this dear girl turned 12, though I swear she was 17 already.  Having Haylie next door has been one of the joys and practical encouragements of our year.

Helping Lily with cursive homework, French, homeschooling.  

Regular every day stuff.  Like eating.  Meetings.  Convincing the girls that they do, indeed, YET AGAIN, need to put on pajamas.  

Intense.  

Can you relate?

So reading through Romans 15 again today was like coffee.  Warm.  Calming.  Inspiring.  Needed.

Chapter 15 is entitled "Self-Denial on Behalf of Others", and yet then the chapter dwells continually on ideas of encouragement, hope, all joy, peace, great hope, joy, refreshing, fullness, peace.  

Not the themes I was thinking of as I headed in with an attitude of self-denial.  

I think that may have been intentional. 

Through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.  Romans 15:4

And there it is.  Self-denial, pouring ourselves out for others (the "others" wiping their grubby sweet hands on our skirts, the "others" driving us crazy at work, the "others" people that are out to tear us down, the "others" the people we are led to minister to and the "others" weren't not sure ANYONE could minister to.

It's all about the perseverance.  

Daily self-denial Christ-living is all about the p-e-r-s-e-v-e-r-a-n-c-e.

How is it possible to persist, to persevere, to continue and continue and continue?  to love? to forgive? to patient?  to pardon? to GIVE and GIVE and GIVE?

Through the encouragement of the Scriptures.

Can I GET an amen here.  Man alive.  

There is no deeper encouragement ever to touch my days then the fresh, life-giving touches from the Lord that come from His Word.  I don't even know WHY I try to find encouragement in other places...It always results in me either being frustrated that others aren't encouraging me like "they should be", or eating an entire bag of gummi bears.

So sweet is His voice, His words, that they are the encouragement through which we might persevere.  His STORY might fuel our stories!  His WORDS might empower our daily drudges.  His EXAMPLE inspiring our JOYFUL self-denials.

Through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures...we might have HOPE.

Which happens to be exactly what I NEED.

HOPE.  

That all of this--every tear, every dirty sock, every calculation, every story, every class, every lesson, every conversation...that ALL OF IT, as I persevere to give Him and glorify Him, with His Word to encourage my deepest soul--is with HOPE.  Hope that He can transform.  Hope that He Can Do It.  Hope for that which we cannot see.  Hope for our children, hope for others, hope for the world, hope for ourselves.  

Because of Who. He. Is.  

The God of Hope.

Persevere with me today.  Not because we are strong.  But because He persevered first, perseveres with US, and calls us to do the same.  Be encouraged by His Word...which means we have to be IN it.  Be encouraged. 

With Hope that He IS who He says He is...which makes every moment a sweet blessing to pour out at His feet.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you will abound in hope by His power.  (15:13)