ready or not

I'm not gonna lie.  This time of year always makes me cry.

We've all been working so hard.  For years.  Getting these students ready.  Giving them the tools they need.  Giving them His Word.  Freely.  Consistently.  Completely.

Brave

I remember when Peniel was a painfully shy first year student who I never thought would be able to talk to people.  When I wondered if Napo would always be such a goof-ball.  If Marie-Frantzy would make it.  If Luddie could be bold enough to share the Gospel.  If Excellent would be able to hang in the classroom with so many younger minds.  If Brave would ever be able to pay his bills.

We worked.  They worked.  He worked.

Marie-Frantzy

And so quickly, so suddenly, they are READY.  They can do it.  They ARE doing it.  They have grown and transformed into men and women so equipped and so deepened and so matured.  They work together.  They share boldly.  They go where no Gospel has gone before.  They share it with people no one else is interested in but Him. They think critically, they pray urgently.  They love deeply.

Evens

They are ready.

But I'm not.

I've been working so hard to help prepare them that I haven't prepared at all to send them off.

The reality is that I don't WANT to not be a daily part of their lives anymore.  I don't WANT them to not be a daily part of mine!

Josue

When they each testified yesterday of the past four years and the gifts God has given them through the relationships, classes, leaders and experiences of Emmaus, they shared that they were ready.  And that they were sad.

Peniel

When Napo confessed into the microphone what we all have known but never wanted to painfully talk about -- that he had no family in this world -- and then shared that now he does?

Ruphin

Yeah, crying.

When Marie Frantzy reminded us of all of the heartbreaks and difficulties in her personal life these past four years, and yet said that when she had NO where else to go, she found God in the administration at EBS.

Excellent

Yeah.

When Excellent called Luddie what we have all been touched by these four years --his very best friend-- and Luddie started to cry.

Samson

Mhmm.

When Josue, slow to trust, boldly and thoughtfully said, "There is no school in Haiti like Emmaus.  There is no place doing what Emmaus is doing, with the heart with which Emmaus is doing it."

When Evens grinned that sheepish grin we have all come to love, and said he will miss Emmaus every day henceforth, darn it, we will miss him, too.

Napo

Suddenly, we are exhaustedly celebrating last finals graded, last classes taught, and I don't even know how it snuck up on me again, but it has.

They are ready.

And I am not.

Luddie

“We have to keep letting go, 

and slowly and surely the great full life of God 

will invade us in every part, 

and men will take knowledge of us 

that we have been with Jesus.” 

 -O. Chambers