pumpkins and prayer

After six years of no pumpkin carving, Matt and the girls got creative when Matt bought this baby from town thinking it was orange.  Yes, folks, he studies German for fun and is working on his doctorate, but it took a four-year old to tell him this thing was green.

It may be green.  And it may smell like cucumber.  And it might be called something crazy. 

But this year, it is our pumpkin.

The girls, who have always wanted to carve pumpkins, don't even know it's not...and he turned out pretty cute anyway!

no competition with Ryan and Cheyenne, but still!

Seeing as that it was 95 degrees on day of carving, I'm not predicting this baby is going to last too long in our heat.  But, it was really fun to share some childhood memories with the girls by digging into this gourde-esq-thing.

Total change of subject:

I've been focusing a lot lately on the idea that my wishes and desires are not the same as prayer.

Sometimes I find myself realizing that while I have worried or wanted or hoped for something for a while, that it is quite possible I haven't actually PRAYED about it, and while I know God knows the desires of my heart, that's not quite the same as talking to Him about them, is it.

Lily and school has been one of those things. 

She is always radiant and bubbling upon pickup, charging through her afternoons chattering happy stories of the morning with tons of energy.  No complaints.  Loves her friends, loves her teacher, loves lunch time and recess.  

But then every evening near bedtime, all she can seem to think about is the fact that she has school the next day.  

She doesn't want to go.  She doesn't like school.  Please don't make her go to school.

She gets herself so worried up about the next day, that she's sometimes in tears and begging not to go...despite the fact that she will readily tell you all day how much she loves school and her friends.

We've asked lots of questions, talked to her teacher, and there are no red flags.  

She's encountering worry for the first time in her life, and the worry of what COULD happen, what COULD not be good, is completely overshadowing what DOES happen.  What IS good.

every been there?

And in turn, I've worried about her.  Talked with her.  Talked to others.  Googled it.  Tried different things.  Prayed with her.  

As I spoke to her about it on Sunday night, it was her that helped me see what I've totally missed.

I tried to help her by telling her about things that worry me.  I shared with her about how mommy will be preaching in chapel on Wednesday, and how nervous that makes me to stand in front of 70 people, to preach, to preach in Creole.  

"Well, Mommy, you should really try to look up when you feel scared!"

Ever the mom, I said, "Aw, Lily!  That's great advice.  Even when we feel shy, instead of staring at the ground, we should try to look people in the eye!"

"No no, Mom," she said sweetly.  "I mean look uuuuuup to God, and whisper to Him so everybody else doesn't hear, and then He will whisper to you, and you will feel better.  That's what I do."

It hit me like a ton of bricks that while I spent a lot of time on this concern, I had never actually spent time talking to My Father about our daughter.  Asking HIM what to do.  Telling Him what I see and what my concerns are.  Asking Him to intercede.  

So I finally DID.  And of course, quickly wondered why I hadn't done that yet.  As I spoke to Him about her worry, He took MY worry.  Gave me peace, though no clear answers.  But peace.

And later that night, when I spoke to Lily about it while praying, I felt Him leading me clearly in what to say.  What to share.  How to work with her.  

And despite Mondays normally being her hardest days after the weekends, Sunday night and Monday were just fantastic!  She did fantastic.  The worry was simply GONE.  She was happy.  She was thinking about the good things.  Matt couldn't figure out what had happened.

Lily and I looked uuuuuppp to God, and He didn't just whisper to me, but to my four-year old.

And already, His whisper is transformative in Lily's life.

And me?

I'm spending a lot more time these past few days not worrying, but whispering too.

What are you worrying about today?  Researching?  Searching out good friends about?

It seems silly, but have you talked to God about it?

join me.

“I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all
the time—waking and sleeping. Prayer doesn’t change God - it changes me” –
C.S. Lewis