thoughts on faith and courage

Matt's been leading our missionary body through Genesis each week, and this past Wednesday's study still has me reflecting on Genesis 12:1-3's powerful message...a message I never even saw until I got to study through Matt's brain and work.

We looked at the rather abrupt call of Abram, first in chapter 12 to...

Go forth from your country

And from your relatives

and from your father's house,

to the land which I will show you;

And I will make you a great nation,

And I will bless you,

And make your name great;

And so you shall be a blessing;

And I will bless those who bless you,

And the one who curses you I will curse.

And in you all the families of the earth will be blessed.

...and then again in Chapter 22, to...

Take your son, your only son,

whom you love, Isaac, and go

to the land of Moriah, and offer him there

as a burnt offering on one of the mountains

of which I will tell you.

While we spent over an hour on these verses, these main discoveries have been working on my week and heart:

1) Our faith must rest on God alone, not even on His calls, promises or blessings.

Abram put his faith in God, left his country and culture, even his family, all that he had ever known, and stepped out to a land he didn't even know the name of yet.  God promised to care for him, and promised to make him one of global impact...even though his wife couldn't have children.  He promises to bless many through Abram.  And so Abram goes.

God promised him a child, and then God gave him that child.  And yet just a few chapters later, God asks for the child back, and if Abraham's faith had been in the fulfillment of God's promise, in the blessing, he would have been entirely unwilling to give Isaac up.  Instead, he rose early in the morning to obey.  His faith rested firmly on God alone.

I continue to see, in the lives of those we're working with and in my own life, a quickness to put my faith in His call or in His blessing...in His good stuff.  I was called to such-and-such, and so that is where my dependence, peace and hope lies.  I know God gave me such-and-such, so I'm going to hold onto that forever.  I know I'm right here, so by faith I'm not budging.  

Cadet was sure that money given by a missionary and attendance of a Monday night prayer meeting could get her the 'blessing' she needed and wanted.  She put all her eggs in that basket, put all her faith in what she saw as Christian things.  But to put her faith in God alone would mean MORE: facing the darkest corners of herself, surrendering her hopes and desires for her own life, letting go of many scraps precious to her.  Would mean leaving everything that she knew, and heading blindly to a place she didn't even know the name of.  

There is a call on my current life to be working and living and serving in Haiti. And it is easy for me to put all my faith on that call.  Working endlessly to successfully comply.  Comforting myself on hard days with the idea that as long as I am fulfilling that call, I am right where I need to be, doing just what I need to do.  Working to give more, do more, serve more.  

What if I put all my faith in this call, not even realizing that what He has truly asked for is faith in HIM?  Missing the boat? 

Faith in God.  Doesn't mean the assurance of things hoped for in my Christian life or calling.  Doesn't mean a conviction of the things in ministry or life I have not yet seen. 

If my faith is truly in Him, and not in my next step, not in His blessing, not in His calling, not in His people, not in people's praise but just in HIM, how simple...how EASY...to gather up my God given blessings in the early morning and be ready to sacrifice them before Him.

2) As such, we must be generous, and courageous, with our blessing. 

Such a big part of God's promise to Abram is based on God making Abram a blessing to others.  We rarely can make ourselves a true blessing to others.  It is GOD who does that work, who blesses others through us. 

As we put our faith in Him, there are blessings poured into our lives that may or may not be defined as "blessings" by the world's standards.  It is hard for some to imagine that God is indeed blessing Matt and I, because they perceive 'blessing' as looking a lot different than our current life in an impoverished nation.  

But as we continue to see His blessings pour in with each new morning, they are there not for the holding, but for the courageous giving.  

I'm starting to wonder if there is any place in the life of a Christian for holding.  For holding anything.  

Of course, there is no place in the life of a Christ-follower for holding revenge.  No place for holding grudges or bitterness or stinginess of self.  No place for holding onto being right or knowing what is best, for being recognized, for being rewarded.  

But perhaps there is not even a place for holding onto blessing!  No place for clinging to our spouses or children.  No place for relishing our talents or cherishing our fortunes or adoring our benefits.  

It takes some huge kind of courage to bounce our blessing back to Him for His use as quickly as He is pouring them out...and I'm wondering about what that courage looks like in my life.  I'm wanting to head off in that direction, even if I don't yet know it's name.  

When I read His word and better grasp the vision of what a life abandoned fully to Christ LOOKS like, I desire that beauty, that death, that freedom of holding nothing but Him whole-heartedly.  

Working today to evaluate where my faith lies, where my blessing lies, and praying for courage!