I don't like not knowing what's going on with Micheline and baby Wudens. Haven't played with Thaliya in weeks.
I hate that Lily has missed the whole week of school, and this precious window to adapt while the other students are adapting.
It kills me that after months of waiting, my dad is finally here, and has done almost nothing 'fun', instead doing dishes, wiping boogies, and caring for cranky kiddos (and moms).
I've missed 2 weeks of Bible study, meaning I have no idea how the other missionaries are doing (and Matt, bless is heart, responds as men: "Everyone's good!")
We've had to reschedule dinner at a friend's house 6 times, and we still haven't been healthy enough to go!
I was supposed to start EBS women's Bible study last week, and we have yet to begin, supposed to visit Magdala, supposed to go to Konpech, supposed to catch up with Shayla...
WE HAVE BEEN TOO SICK!
For someone who thrives in community and rejoices in relationship, the illnesses of our family are GETTING to me. I feel stifled, out of the loop, in a cloud, frustrated...lonely.
As I was venting these very things to the Lord earlier this morning, He reminded me that while I've been mourning the loss of the relationship building and social interaction that could have been, I've often overlooked my very present Father and Friend.
Lots of extra moments to dwell in His presence...and He doesn't care what germs I bring. Lots of sleepless nights to praise His name...and He doesn't care how disheveled I come. Lots of quite minutes to mediate on His Words, to re-establish my step on my Firm Foundation...and He doesn't cringe at the feverish whine of my babies.
He does not fail to satisfy, even in dark, stuffy moments. And He is worthy of my praise, this and every hour.
Meaning that every moment, regardless, is an opportunity. Maybe not for hanging out in the yard. Maybe not for watching Lily make new friends. Maybe not for catching up with sisters.
But an opportunity for His glory...
which is, after all, why I'm in existence.
I cannot save and sanctify myself
I cannot make atonement for sin
I cannot redeem the world
I cannot right what is wrong
purify what is impure
make holy what is unholy.
That is all the sovereign work of God.
Do I have faith?
O.Chambers
Stacey, you and your precious family have been in my prayers more than ever the past couple of weeks. Your blogs always inspire me and even more so in your times of suffering when He reveals the deeper things to you and you share those. Though you feel out of the loop and unable to do all the things that give you joy, you are a sweet fragrance to Him and just your presence that bears Him is a sweet fragrance to others. Just as the incense had to be "beaten small" to release the fragrance, we too go through our times of being beaten small. Praying that you and your sweet family will be all recuperated soon. Lov, Sue
ReplyDeleteThis was a great post for me today!!Thanks! So sorry you have felt lonely...those are the moments I feel that Jesus is calling us to grow deeeper in HIM. It's painful usually, at least for me it is. But usually on the other end it becomes so much more than we could haVe thought... living securely in our Lord :)
ReplyDeleteStill praying so much for your guys health!!