culture

Just like last summer, this time in our "home culture" has proved to be almost more difficult to adjust to than the Haitian culture we have come to know and be a part of.

A lot of the differences one would think would be a big deal never are.  We used to think Haiti was insanely hot.  Now, Matt hasn't taken his jacket off since we hit the runway in Florida.  Matt and I LOVE all the different foods the US has to offer...Lily just wants rice, no matter where we take her to eat.  The roads are great, there's a lot more entertainment available (we've now been introduced to RedBox...how cool is that), and at Meijer's ice cream sale last week, I did indeed buy four gallons of ice cream (which we did not have room for in the freezer...so I am eating them :)

We are so used to not having TV that we haven't watched more than a few hours of it total in over a month (there is some WEIRD stuff on...we don't remember TV being so dumb four years ago!)  Wal-Marts continue to be completely overwhelming, and we're still a bit giddy each time we need something and BAM, can go get it immediately without emailing someone and asking them to send it to us...paying for shipping...paying for customs...waiting three weeks to receive it...driving 30 minutes to pick it up...

But the differences that are actually hard for us simply come down to relationships.  People treat people SO differently here than they do at home!!!

Being a foreigner in Haiti has most often seemed to mean three things to people:  You probably have more money than everyone else, you probably have more education than everyone else, and you probably are some kind of a Christian.  Everywhere you go, you stick out...you are approached...people come over to talk to you.

There is an expectation EVERYWHERE we go that we have so much more than anyone else that we can and should help anyone everywhere with everything.  Though we have no medical training whatsoever, many people in our village come to us for medical help, especially in an emergency.  This holds true of most things, as people come on a daily basis for counsel on everything from spousal abuse to broken motorcycles, church issues to what to do with a newly orphaned child.

But one thing that is always true, among those who know us intimately and those who are seeing us for the first time, EVERY single person you pass says hello.  Most everyone asks about your family, even if they don't know who that is.  Most everyone shares a bit about themselves, and if you even stop for a moment to talk, will gladly hold you in good conversation for as long as you would care to stay, Christians will frequently pray with us or sing with us, even if we just met them, etc.

With no tv, no video games, no stores to rush off to, no after-school activities, no errands to run, no car to care for, no pets to tend to, no day planners to follow, and very few with jobs, people in Haiti are really excited by and passionate about other people...far more than anything else.

Sometimes, the Americans in us can get a bit annoyed by this...it takes 30 minutes to walk one block, you can never just "run over to the office real quick", and at the end of the day when we're exhausted and finally have Lily to bed, a night watchman or friend is always sure to come chat through the window for a while.   Privacy, a highly valued thing in our home culture, is completely unheard of...even rude!

But when we come back to the States, we realize how much we have adapted to these Haitian customs of sociableness and "invasion of privacy" as normal.  People at Meijer continue to look at me blankly when I make eye contact and greet every person in the aisle until I feel downright dumb.  As Matt approaches people in waiting rooms and airports and restaurants to chat, he continues to be baffled by the fact that many are completely uncomfortable or unhappy to have a short conversation with a stranger.

As is culturally appropriate in Haiti, we continue to hold onto a person's hand after shaking it while we have the conversation...NOT a comfortable thing for most strangers we're meeting lately :)  We're kiss-greeting way too many people, and have found ourselves to be quite insulted several times when people don't even ask how we are or don't stop for a moment to listen to the answer and to discuss it, or (gasp) take a moment to pray with us before parting ways.

Even dear Lily has been confounded more than once by other kids blowing past her without talking to her, grabbing her hand and drawing her into the game at hand.

There are so many beautiful things about both cultures, for sure, but we have to admit to feeling much more alone in America than we have ever felt in Haiti!

Whatever weird looks we may be receiving, we've decided to stick with our Haitian tendencies and "invade" on people all the same.  It has been so much easier in Haiti to forget about ourselves and to focus on others, as He asks us to, because that's what EVERYONE is doing as normal.  After a month stateside, with SO much materialism available and such a private culture, we are finding it harder to fight against the temptation to make it all about us!

Keep in the selfless Word with us, keep encouraging one another as a community in Christ and take two seconds today and try to talk to everyone you see :)