settling for bed sheet security

When we were little, my sister had a theory that no amount of common sense could steer her away from.  As long as she had a sheet covering her, there was no bad man, no monster, no scary dream that could touch her.

No matter how hot it was, she had that sheet tucked up under her chin to keep her safe, and made it  a habit to never let her toe peek out or her arm dangle dangerously outside.  As she got older, we would laugh about that almighty sheet, which somehow gave her peace of mind though it had no power to protect her.

Yesterday evening, with John and Dorothy gone with the truck, Matt nine hours away, and no electricity, I felt like my little sister without a sheet.  Somehow, I had gotten comfortable with the idea that lights equal security.  Having Matt in the other room.  Having students living next door.  Having a vehicle to flee in, if necessary.

And being on the compound entirely alone with Lily last night in the pitch dark had me wrestling with fear.  If we had had lights, I wouldn't have thought twice.  But feeling my way through the house for a match and a candle had me checking all the locks, checking all the rooms for lurking strangers, thinking about all the things that could possibly go wrong.   Somehow along the way, I have put my security in light bulbs, a tiny little inanimate object that couldn't possibly keep me safe from a mosquito, much less a break in or emergency.

Lily couldn't sleep due to the intense heat and swarming mosquitos, and as I laid on the floor next to her bed, singing her songs, I realized how my situation came dangerously close to the travesty spoken about in Romans 1, that I have been teaching my second year class.

"For even though they KNEW God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.  They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator!"  

Far be it from me to exchange the protection of an all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful Creator for the foolish speculation that a lightbulb, or my husband, or a vehicle, or a baseball bat...a thin sheet...could protect me!

As I thought through this with my mind, God absolutely brought a verse that I haven't thought about in years to my heart: "The Lord is my Light and my Salvation, whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?"  Psalm 27:1.

My LIGHT.  That was all I wanted last night:  Light, and Salvation from not just harm, but fear.  And in the same moment He gave me the verse that I had mindlessly memorized as a child, He gave me that, too.  I truly believed, with my whole heart, that HE was my Light and my salvation, the stronghold of my life, and immediately, the fear was gone.  I scooped up tossing, itching Lily and walked out into the night, no longer cowering in the false security of four block walls.

The night air was twenty times cooler than the still air inside, and the quarter moon shown so brightly that His light illuminated our path.  She fell asleep as we walked, pointing her chubby finger at the "MOON!" and "Twinkle Twinkles!" (stars).

You might think that I credit far too much as being miracles.  I tell you about miracles every week, and maybe that doesn't seem possible to you.  But what God did last night for me was a miracle.

I had a heart and a spirit of fear.  I sat in the dark afraid and alone, and in a mater of minutes, where NOTHING changed, He spoke to my heart and changed EVERYTHING.  Even if He had come down in the form of an angel and fixed the generator last night, I would not have had the same joy, peace, and protection that I had last night basking in the Light of His Salvation.

What are your bedsheets today?  Maybe, like me, you don't even know that they are there!

I am so thankful that He allowed all my comforts to be stripped away last night so that I could realize where I had been relying on creation, when I COULD be relying on the Almighty Creator!

Matt and the group arrived safely yesterday after only 9 hours on the road, and just in time for a bit of rest and then a large service last night.  Over 100 people came, and the staff and students did an awesome job leading and ministering to those dear ones.  Matt had the opportunity to preach, and fifteen people stayed afterwards to talk to the Emmaus community about receiving the God of Matt's sermon in their lives.

When I spoke to Matt last night, he was overflowing with Hallelujah's, grateful for the direct and beautiful way that God had brought them to the right place at the right time for the right reason, and brimming with pride at how the Emmaus community had displayed passion, humility, and servant leadership to the homeless and still devastated group of His creation in Diquini.  These next days promise to be exciting!

Thank you for your continued prayers!  Today, Gertha, Micheline, Lily and I are going out for our bi-annual, "when Matt goes on a missions trip the girls go out to lunch" luncheon at La Kay.  God has blessed me so constantly through these two beautiful woman, and I always come away from time with them grateful for the family God has gifted me.