another miracle

Yesterday morning was not a high place. I'd been sick all weekend. I was exhausted Monday morning, and Lily woke up early, I fell back to sleep eventually, and slept through to 6:30, missing the large majority of my time with the Lord. Out of grouchiness and selfishness and a lasting tiff from the night before, I immediately spat out at Matt for not having woken me, and for therefore causing my lack of time with the Lord.

"But wait, what is for breakfast? The guys are coming in 20 minutes!" Matt said as I huffed into the guest bedroom with my Bible.

"GIVE ME FIFTEEN MINUTES WITH THE LORD!" I literally roared by now, livid, mostly with myself and totally overwhelmed by the upcoming day and week, and shut the door behind me, sinking to the floor.

I KNEW I was completely and totally in the wrong state of mind, with the wrong heart and had treated Matt entirely wrong...my heart was full of grouchiness and busyness and I could even taste the bitterness in my mouth. And I knew I couldn't even begin to handle the week ahead, much less the morning ahead. What I didn't know was how in the world I could compose myself, have a new heart, a new mind, a new spirit, in fifteen minutes.

"LORD," I literally wailed, "I don't know how. I don't know how you possibly could, but MEET me. Give me a new spirit, somehow, in fifteen minutes! PLEASE!"

Immediately, He gently led my mind to some evangelism I had been doing in Sakenville the week before. At one particular house, I was overjoyed to find the group in the yard already talking about some people who had been spared in Port-au-Prince.

It was a rather rough group of men, with one woman and several children. Yet my heart celebrated when I heard one man say, "Wow, only God could do that! He can do what He wants. He is so powerful!" and then everyone in the yard celebrated and agreed heartily.

"Yes, Praise the Lord!" I said, realizing I wouldn't need to discuss the Gospel message here. "So you are all Christians, then, huh? Christ-followers?"

"Oh, No!" the group quickly replied. "No, no. We're not Christians."

"Ooookkk, so, you know He is God, and you believe that, and you know that He sent His Son, Jesus, to die for our sins?"

"Oh, yes, yes. We know."

"Buuuuutttt, you're not Christians?"

"Right."

"Well, do you WANT to be Christ-followers, since He is powerful, and does that which only HE can do?"

Everyone looked at each other quite openly and the oldest man said, quite friendly, "No thanks."

"WHY?" I asked, befuddled, thinking of the verse Romans 10:9 that says "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved."

"Because we don't want Him to be our LORD, you know? We don't want to follow any rules or anything, don't want to change stuff, you know."

As I sat there in the guest room, thinking about this experience He had brought so clearly to my mind, He spoke SO clearly in the stillness of my heart.

Stacey, the log in your own eye! You couldn't understand how they could declare Me, but not WANT me. They wanted My power, but not My desires, not My heart.

But YOU say that I AM your Lord, that I AM in control of your life, your heart, your emotions, your speech... but LOOK!

You say I am your Lord, but you want to hold onto your anger, your emotions, your rights. You want to feel angry, want to act emotionally, want to blame others, want to come up with excuses, want what you want.

Do you want me enough to die to yourself and be filled with what I want for you?

Immediately, hot, humble tears came, and immediately, the bitterness and resentment and grouchiness and irritation and stress melted away. I left that room to start breakfast an entirely new woman. My tense shoulders and balled fists softened, and He replaced all the ugliness and selfishness of me with Himself.

In fifteen minutes.

I praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, that He is a God that communicates with us and changes us, as ONLY He can, if only we are anxious for it. What He did in that room and in my heart, I believe, was every bit the miracle He did for the man that lived 4 weeks under a building after the earthquake. What He wants to do in those men that declare Him is every bit a miracle.

He didn't just save us. Miracle over. He seeks to transform us, every moment...

Our speech, our emotions, our actions,

our time, our money, our habits,

our families, our thoughts, our jobs,

our conversations, our intentions, our daily living...

...whatever is in them that is of us, He's ready to replace, beautifully and to our great freedom.

Praise the Lord for His ever working hand.

***UPDATE: Emmaus Biblical Seminary starts classes again TOMORROW (we are SO excited to have the guys back!)

A prospective new Director for EBS is also coming tomorrow (again, really excited),

AND one of our students and one of our staff members left today for Diquini, the area of Port-au-Prince where Matt and two other staff members and a dozen students worked for 3 weeks, bringing by His grace over 600 to become Christ-followers. They will be working there until Friday to set up a plan, and Lord willing begin a 6 month period of church planting and leadership-raising (AHHHH! Excited).

Please be praying!!!, and please consider joining Emmaus Biblical Seminary in the training of Haitian pastors, evangelists, missionaries and Christian leaders to bring people in Haiti to Christ, and to disciple them strongly in the Word of God. We need your help to do this! Check out what you can do...