more new experiences

Yesterday we experienced our first Haitian funeral. Over 2 weeks after his death, our gate man, Jacque, was buried. Some kind of a legal issue delayed the funeral, but yesterday about 300 people gathered at a nearby church for the service. We weren't quite sure what to expect.

The funeral was at 2:30, so it started at 3:15. Luckily, every Haitian talked to told us that it would start at 2:30, but to go at 3:00. We were also strongly warned not to wear anything red. Wearing red to a funeral signifies that you played a direct role in the death of the person, even a red pinstripe in your tie, or red toenail polish. This would have been quite an drastic error, so we're glad we asked in advance what to wear. You must wear white, black, navy or brown, and everything was very plain, except for the hats. Most of the women were wearing huge hats with wide brims or flouncy feathers or large flowers. There were three different singing groups, all dressed to match, but the main group was the church choir. They stood on the stage, and were all wearing complete graduation attire, cap and gown. I've never seen anyone wear cardboard square graduation caps for a funeral or as a choir. Even the organist and the director donned them.

The singing was beautiful, or would have been, had it not been frequently pierced by screaming and wailing coming from the first few rows of the church where Jacque's family sat. Sporadically throughout the 2 hours, they screamed, moaned and wailed.

We were further distracted by the videographer. From start to finish, a video crew walked throughout the church, taping each guest, taping the casket, the sermon, and especially taping any signs of mourning. A good Haitian American friend had told us in advance that this has become a big thing in Haiti...taping not just weddings, but funerals, and then allowing everyone that attended to buy a copy.

I don't think we'll probably do that.

A "good friend" of the family stood to say a few words about Jacque. As he was speaking about his life, he dwelled for quite a while on the fact that Jacque had 9 children, and how difficult life was for Jacque to have had 9 children. Everyone in the congregation started whispering, and as the man continued talking about the ways Jacque bravely raised 9 children in such a difficult country, someone finally shouted out, "FIVE! He has FIVE children!" The speaker continued his speech, but now with 4 less children, it wasn't quite as exciting.

After he finished, an older man stood up to preach. He preached a fiery sermon for about 20 minutes, but seemed to be increasingly frustrated and confused. Finally, he stopped altogether, and asked a young pastor sitting behind him to get up with him and read him his notes. He could not for the life of him read his own notes, and he could no longer remember what he was supposed to be saying. So, for the last 20 minutes of the sermon, the young pastor would read a line of notes into the microphone, and the older pastor would repeat the line, and then expound upon it. Line after line, it went like this for the rest of the service. No one seemed to care, and the pastor wrote it off by spouting some Haitian proverb about "when the gray comes in, the mind goes out."

When the funeral was over, everyone poured out into the street. The car with the casket went first, followed by a large band of trumpets and trombones, playing loudly, followed by everyone else. We walked part of the way with them, but then split off at our compound. They walked the mile to the burial site, and then were going to have a "final viewing". I think I am glad that we missed this.

While it was unlike any funeral we had every been to, it was meaningful for us both to experience. We are learning more and more about the people we are living with...next month, comes our first wedding.

I love to think about the way that Jacque opened the gate for Matt and I for 6 months. Before we came, he'd been opening the door for OMS missionaries and guests for twenty years. He breathed his last breath in front of that gate, and I love to think that just a moment later, heaven's gates were opened for him.