prayers and fragrance

A few days ago, a dear life-long family friend collapsed and yesterday he died. 

Carl and Mary and Mom and Dad were best friends well before us kids, and there's never been a time in my life we didn't have Carl and Mary in it. They raised us all doing life together, and every camping adventure I've ever done has been with them. Their young son died in his sleep...and then Mom, on Mary's birthday, and then Dad, and now Carl. 

If you've seen me in the last few days, you're thinking I didn't mention it, and I have not. I can't quite find  my voice. 

But this morning, New Year's Day, bright and early, I drove Lily and Leah to a church we've never been to in a town we've never been to. They are off to Passion Conference with Louie Giglio and David Crowder and Jackie Hill Perry and Kari Jobe and 65,000 18-25 year olds....and a friend of a friend youth pastor.  Some brave girls, these two! 

As I was driving home in the chilly sunshine, I was praying for Lily, turning 17 tomorrow in some stadium in Texas worshiping the Lord with a multitude of young people. As I drove I was praying, praying for this generation, praying the Lord would minister to their hearts. Praying for my girl. 

"Lord, I'm trusting You with her!" I warned. 

I instantly heard Him laugh at me. 

She is mine. It is I who is entrusting you!

Yes. 

Yes, Lord.

And without meaning to, my prayers choked in my throat and turned to the heaviness.

But Lord. Dear Mary and Liz, Lord. Lord, dear Carl. 

No words. 

It is Carl who is mine. All these people you love are just ahead at my throne, it is I who is entrusting you. 

Heaven is so close. His throne is so close. These days are so borrowed and limited and numbered. 

I'm starting this new year catching the fragrance of heaven.

And unlike here...there are no traces of bitter in the smell. Only sweet.

When we think seriously about what it will cost us and others if we obey the call of Jesus, 

we tell God He doesn't know what our obedience will mean. 

Keep to the point--He does know. 

Shut out every other thought and keep yourself before God in this one thing only--

our utmost for His Highest. 

Are we determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and Him alone?