again and again

I have been thinking recently about the man who came to Jesus to restore his sight, but after Jesus had laid his hands on him, people looked like trees, and Jesus had to lay His hands on him again before his sight was fully restored.

It's almost tempting at first to think that Jesus didn't do the full job, or that perhaps He doesn't do all things well, or that His power was not strong enough to work one and done.

But knowing Jesus, the One through whom all things were made, it seems far more likely He was trying to teach someone something, trying to show something to those who had seen miracles and heard sermons but still didn't see clearly, still didn't quite get it. 

Life can be blinding. It is really easy to be totally focused on what is on the surface, and completely oblivious to all that is underneath. It's easy to see the world and miss heaven, to be focused on how others have hurt us instead of how Jesus has met us, to be overwhelmed by the trees instead of seeing people. 

I can easily be focused on what I have lost, can easily focus my eyes on all the burdens, can easily be caught up in the world...and not see anything clearly, nor with His eyes.

What I love in this story from Mark is that Jesus had the willingness and the patience and the love and the mercy to heal and heal and heal again until the man finally could see fully.

I want Jesus to finish the work in me...to reveal Himself again and again, to lay His merciful hands on me again and again, bringing layers of healing and Himself. I want to be humble and soft and in His hands until HE finishes the work.

When we started the cancer journey with Dad, and it felt so much like the cancer journey with Mom...when hard places in our marriage before look wearily like hard places in our marriage still...when lessons I thought I'd learned surface again and again...when difficult seasons with kiddo one look like difficult seasons with kiddo four and will soon be the season with kiddo seven...when we've felt His hands on us and are walking with Him and yet are still struggling with some of the same painful things...when issues with our children or family or church or job are so acutely painful we want to avoid His hands and be done...

We can decide His refining work is finished, that we are done, and we can walk away with hard hearts and a blurry view and He will leave us alone. 

But Lord. Keep us humble and soft, and clinging to you as you finish the work, even if it takes again and again and again. Lay your hands on us again and again until that day when we finally see You as You are.