--Douglas McKelvey
I have awakened at the edge of my own strength.
My mind, my hope, my emotions are buried beneath such a blanket of darkness
that simply to swing my legs over the edge of the bed and begin a new day
requires a hidden reserve of courage I can scarcely summon on my own.
I know that in the mysterious economy of divine grace,
your strength is somehow made perfect in my weakness,
but today these deficits feel soul-shattering.
I beg you to move first on my behalf, O God--that, powerless to act,
I might still react to the initiative of your Spirit.
In the midst of my suffering, let me find an intimacy of fellowship with you
who have already suffered all things for my sake.
Even in this hard affliction of mind and emotion,
form my heart into something more like your own heart, O Man of Sorrows.
You draw near to the crushed in spirit.
The bruised reed you will not break.
Your care is ever tender.
Help me cling to these promises, O Father, even as you teach me
what it means to trust you with my brokenness.
And when my own inner stores are utterly depleted--
as you commanded wild ravens to bring bread and meat to sustain Elijah in his soul-weariness--
so send me comfort on unfamiliar wings.
Remind me of the thousand ways you are faithful -
the constant expressions of your love in those small and menial miracles
I so easily, in my dismay, overlook.
Guide me through my darkness, for it is not dark to you.
Strengthen my heart, my mind, and my arms for this struggle.
Give me daily courage along with my daily bread.
💙 amen
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