getting there.

Today marked a year since the day we said "yes" to meeting a big, short-term need. I was 7 months pregnant, it was just gonna be a few days, it was obvious the need was heavy and we were the right family at the right time to meet it. Matt and I discussed it for 20 seconds flat...it would only cost a weekend to be a loving, safe place for a few in distress....It was an easy decision.

The twelve months since then have held far more discussions. Way more decisions. Very little easy. So many more costs. 

Sometimes I wonder why He didn't red-flag me that obeying in that small way, April 27th 2022, was gonna lead to laying it all down to live in obedience in some really big ways. Why He didn't warn me how-how much would be required. How-how hard it would be. How much reliance on Him was going to be needed. 

Maybe that was rude.  Maybe that was grace.

Either way, I can't help but look back on this 'marker' day--Emma joining us....moving....losing my dad--All that stuff I didn't know that day we said, "Hey, we have to help here. Yes? Yes."

Tonight after dinner with a precious family God has woven into our lives because of that "yes", I had seven giggling, wrestling, talking, playing kids, all at once, all in one room. 

Washing dishes, I kept listening to all the happy noise (it isn't always happy noise, but it was tonight) and thanking the Lord for the ways He has helped us be His family. For the ways He has helped us grow and stretch that we didn't even really want to grow and stretch. For the ways He has provided all the people and all the help we have needed, that would have felt utterly impossible a year ago, and often still feels impossible now. For carrying us, sometimes kicking and screaming, so we could carry seven kiddos, sometimes kicking and screaming, too.

It's a broken-broken world and system, and it may well all end a broken mess. All of it may end in no different result.   

But I'm coming to terms with loving and light-shining and trusting like crazy in the best of times and in the worst of times exactly where He has you, and letting Him deal with the rest. 

I'm not there. But I'm coming.