the richness

I'm so thankful Matt got the email subscription fixed, and it's been so good to hear from a slew of you.  I think the only difference between this platform and the last is that this platform will email you every Friday with any new posts from that week, instead of emailing you every time I post. 

I'm not sure if that's better or not, but it's the only way we could get the subscription thing going again, so. You'll hear from me Fridays, or check the blog anytime!

Nora Joy.

Friday after asking for your prayers, she woke up worse again and we headed to the doctor. They did a stack of more intense blood work, and also ordered an ultrasound.  Ultrasound clear, blood work mostly clear, with elevated glucose. Day ten of vomitting and girlie down to 28 pounds, doctor didn't want to head into the weekend with still no answers.  

The pediatrician called at 4:30 after confirmed higher glucose and sent us straight to the ER.

I'd never been to the ER in my life until Emma, just a few weeks ago (and it wasn't that fun), and here we were again. On a Friday night. Nora couldn't stop crying (she's felt so miserable and been pricked so many times now she just wanted to stay home, but I packed a bag and breast-fed baby and we headed while Matt stayed behind with the other five. 

Questions, over and over again, all the same test....strep, urine, blood, more blood, ultrasounds, and one good vomit all over the doctor, and they had nothing. As Emma cooed and gurgled in my arms, her new thing and gratefully a happy gem the whole time, we snuggled weepy Nora to the horrible sounds of of the only pediatric ER in Jackson. 

By 9 pm, we were exhausted, and the doctors had exhausted everything they knew to do.

If I promised to continue shoving a straw in her mouth every time I walked past her, they agreed to let us go home.  Praying heavily the whole way, I managed to carry overnight bag, diaper bag, car-seat and Emma, and bag of vomit blanket and clothes, while holding Nora's hand. She was so tired and weak that we had to stop every 10 feet or so to rest...not in a place you really wanted to stop and stand on a Friday night with two little girls. I figured in the end if someone wanted to mug a woman with a carseat and a vomit blanket, they'd just have to go for it.  

The Lord got us through the night and safely home and into bed. 

She seemed better this morning, ate some white rice and even drew some pictures, both firsts for the last several days...but by noon she was weepy and in pain again, and spent the afternoon and evening crying and in the hot shower. 

If the doctor was at a loss, and the hospital was at a loss, it's no wonder I am.

We just seem to be dwelling in this survival season, no matter how hard I am pushing, begging and praying our family toward thriving.  I am so ready to be not asking for survival favors, not be cutting all the corners to simply hang in there, to not do the least possible necessary, to not be clinging to grace so hard. 

Dear independent Nora who never wants mom and never stops going cries continually to just be held, and I'm dreaming of looking out that window and seeing her plow her little pink bike up and down the street like she loves. 

Since a diagnosis can't seem to be found, I'm just praying and pouring in the water and pushing every bite and sitting with her all I can.  I need like three mamas. 

I AM grateful to find the Lord is here...to be genuinely dwelling in His satisfying presence. 

When I was alone in the ER with the girls, I was so keenly aware that He was with us. As I've sat up with her many nights, as we pitifully inched through that dark parking garage last night without any answers, as I've navigated all the other things and kiddos still happening, I haven't been nor felt alone in the least - the wealth of Jesus has been giving me patience and energy and help. 

The beauty of His children helping in ways that they can - driving someone somewhere, or a neighbor ordering pizza for us tonight, a friend running to the store to get popsicles and gatorade, or a friend offering help - has blessed me tremendously, too.  They remind me that He is with us, too.

Dad has started his new med/treatment and time will tell how it goes. Praying for limited or NONE of the painful side-effects and for courage and trust.

Meanwhile, our brothers and sisters are living out a nightmare in Haiti...our family at Emmaus is discouraged beyond belief, unable to even MEET. 

"Haiti at a breaking point as economy tanks and violence soars"..."Haiti reports cholera deaths for first time in three years"..."Fuel hike plunges Haiti into near anarchy" and "Haiti appeals for armed intervention to quell chaos" are the headlines, but fleshed out...NONE of Haiti's children are in school, violence is rampant and everywhere, there is no fuel and no help...we are taking to friends almost daily and it is DIRE and grave. 

Please be praying with us for His dear Haiti and for His children. So much darkness. Pray for courage.

I am praying the richness of His presence for Nora...for Dad...for Haiti...for you