what I'm learning...

It's been a heavy day, friends, one of those days I'm thankful I didn't know was coming so I could take it in stride instead of staying in bed (not that it would have helped...or been possible :).  

I'm not going to be able to say much without saying too much. 

Greg would ask, instead of how I'm feeling, what I am learning, always cutting to the chase and not letting me dwell too long. It is his most obnoxious question, and how it has shaped me all these years, looking right away for God and His hand in the many challenges of life instead of riding out difficulties on my feelings.

I'm learning that I go for "helping" over "healthy" every time...and to rely on godly others for wisdom, wisdom that the Lord will confirm as His.

I'm learning that there are good and beautiful and right things we pray for, and that doesn't mean it's time for them. Are we still gonna pray? Are we gonna pray on, knees worn and tears long dry? Are we gonna march the wall a seventh time, maybe seventy times seven?

I'm learning that painful days, frustrating days, hard days make us selfish and inward facing, and we've gotta fight that sinful response like the dickens. Is He not even more worthy of glory in the days that the world lets us down, in the days that He is all that is Good?

I'm learning that there are prayers and attitudes I'm settling for that come from places of doubt and disappointment...not from faith. I am sure He will not do it. I am sure this situation will not change. I am sure that only more brokenness is ahead...instead of thanking the Lord BY FAITH for what He is doing that I do not yet see. 

I'm learning that nothing hurts like your child hurting, and that all you can do is preach them the same thing you always have. "You are His. You are only who He says you are. Be relentlessly kind. Take courage."

I'm learning that God's going to keep going back to pick at our grudges until there is no meat left. He's gonna give us chance after chance after chance to forgive and forgive again, to forgive further, to forgive fuller...if we keep taking them.  There is no room for any bitterness, no room. 

I'm learning that our mountains are molehills, His mountains our molehills. It's never about quite what I thought it was...not about choosing a or b, not about getting y or z...but so much more about how. He's far more for our surrender and hearty abandonment to Him than our state of well being.

I'm learning that all His promises go out the window if I do not write them down and meditate on them day and night.  I think this is actually not an original thought, but a Biblical principle, and it's TRUE. Standing on His promises, all the days.