one path

 This afternoon with one kiddo at sewing class with Gaga and two at gymnastics and one with a soccer ball he will never put down, Mom took OFF her sweatpants, and Matt and I had an interview with a local Christian magazine about life in Haiti, life in Jackson, the transition, Emmaus, Wesley, our faith.

It caught me off guard how meaningful it was to have someone ask, even a total stranger for work-related reasons. 

It was really helpful to hear Matt's answers--to think of my own--to questions like, "What's been challenging for the kids? What do you miss? What were those first few years like? What are your regrets? What did you learn all those years in Haiti that you want to make sure you hold on to, no matter where you are?"

It was an interview, not a counseling session, (and there were no tears just o prove it :)!) but it was GOOD for both of us, anyway. 

I realized the whole thing is a string. Our life before Haiti was very much so a part of our life in Haiti. Our life in Haiti is very much so a part of our life now. Our life now will be a part of whatever is next, and as Matt said today, "We are never going to say that we are unwilling to go to such-and-such a place. We are never going to say we are unwilling to do this or that work. Whatever He makes clear, we're going to do."

I did not know until today that maybe Japan was next, but...maybe :) 

I was proud of our kiddos, talking about their transition, talking about the challenges. I was amazed at the places in the last year that I can see God was at work...though I couldn't at the time. I was grateful for the life-lines that He helped me to chose. I AM grateful for all the gaps we had a year ago that He has been filling and forming in ways I NEVER could have imagined. 

I was proud of Emmaus, talking about her, and I was proud of Wesley, talking about her! What a gift, to have been teaching and serving and leading in two different schools and families now that are made up of God-centered family and very much so in the kingdom building business, for kingdom building reasons only. 

I'm sorry I was such a mess...I don't know that I could have been less of a mess if I had to do it again...but man, I've worked so hard in the middle to still be faithful...worked so hard to still be the best wife and mama I can be anyway, worked hard to trust Him, worked hard to love those around us well.

This past year will always be a shadowy place in our story, like the dark year mom fought cancer and lost, but...In those dark seasons I really CAN see that He carried us. I knew He was there when I could NOT get my head up, and HE WAS.  

And as alone as I often felt, I know many of you were there, praying, and that is NO small deal.  Thank you. 

It's all one path, this one life He's given us, and I'm not done till He is. 

Now I'm off to find someone to interview who needs it as much as I did!