YES.

There is a lot of broken right now.

I don't know what to say but to say it again.  There is a LOT of broken right now.

I stayed up way too late last night talking to a dear friend about a very broken marriage.  And little precious kiddos. And total heart-wreck. And I was totally sick yesterday afternoon talking to dear friends about a horrifying situation with no simple fix, I held Micheline's hand this morning as she heads into the funeral for her father tomorrow and back to the Dominican Sunday with more medical tests, dear friends remember the devastating loss of their precious son today, I catch up with Phida this morning about daily evangelism and am discouraged with her for the hardness of heart, the brokenness of family, the injustice in daily living, the horrifying realities for many young girls and abandoned children and the magnitude of BROKEN that needs Jesus...some that want Jesus, many that do not.

It threatens me, all of it, all that broke.

There is so much to do, so much to be done...and also many places there is nothing to be done but mourn with those who mourn as if the loss is our own, as if we ourselves were in broken marriages, as if we were remembering our lost child, as if we were mourning the death of our father, as if we were abandoned, as if our own cupboards were utterly nonexistent, as if our own daughters were prostituting for mere existence.

Lily with her half-Haiti, half-American heart

Lily's little broken heart feels slight in comparison, but she is my heart all the same, and her little heart is broken over the distance between herself and her young friend, and little things like Dad being gone and the sinus pressure of her cold and the reality of returning to school today was feeling totally overwhelming for her this morning.

As tears poured down her face in the living room, up well before her sisters, I gave my hugs and clucked my clucks and cared all my cares and knew I had nothing real to offer her wounded heart outside of giving her Jesus.  It DOES hurt, it IS hard, there IS broken.

So I leveled with her, no promises of treats after school or countdowns for Daddy, just the GOOD News.  Our Father understands, He is with you, and He loves you with ALL His heart and His plans for you are GOOD.  Lily, I finally asked her, simply, I know this is hard, but do you trust Him?

I've never asked her that before, and everything else this morning was a rampage of drama and emotion, so I didn't know what to expect.  She floored me.

YES.  she said with certainty, without wavering, without hesitation, without tears, without. a. doubt.

Often times trusting Him for me is a battle with worry, is tears pouring, is stubborn surrender, is clenched last-resort.

But not Lily, not this morning.  Lily trusting God looked EXACTLY like what trusting God is supposed to look like.  Like TRUST.

She gathered up her heart and nerves and books and kleenexes and went to school.  Trusting Him.

And today, she is my model.

I'm trusting Him with all that brokenness right now, doing what I can, 98% of which is praying for grace, remember Lily's and my's memory verse as we go from Psalm 103..."I will praise the Lord, from deep inside me I praise Him. I praise Him, because His name is holy."

Simply because He is HOLY, I will praise Him, and all that broken-brokenness, I will trust Him with, as Phida trusts Him, as our beautiful students, pouring out the gates each day. trust Him, as Claudin and Josie have trusted Him, as Lily does.