Psalms, a Haitian Vacation anyone?, and something new

Matt's Psalms course has been going really well, and followed the usual pattern of taking just a few days for the men and woman to warm up, realize that he was looking for insight, not a "right answer", and get really passionate about what they're learning. They're ENJOYING diving deeper in the Psalms, learning the history and patterns of the Psalms, and "sharpening hermeneutical skills for interpreting the Psalms," says Matt :)

Matt's also having a great time getting to know these students better (most of them also his Hebrew students) and working WITH them through some of the cultural, and non-cultural issues, they are facing in their churches and ministries: What should they do about the growing number of unwed teen mothers in their churches? What IS salvation, really, and how does work with righteousness? What should they do with members of their church that fall into sin? What should their response be to repentance? How do we move away from a ritualistic understanding of worship/prayer/etc and into an intimate relationship with our Father?

They've been having some great discussions, which always help Matt grow and learn, too, more about the Haitian mind-set and culture and more about his own walk with the Lord.

A longstanding goal of OMS Haiti, Emmaus Biblical Seminary and OMS at large has been that EBS would be able to begin classes in our new seminary down the road by January, 2010. The dedication ceremony has been set for January 11th, and despite a gorgeous new seminary that is largely completed, there is still a LOT of skilled and unskilled labor to be completed before we can MOVE in and start class!

We are thanking the Lord: Don H. and Jack F. have agreed to come down for a few weeks in November-December to work on completion! Despite our blog title, this probably won't be much of a vacation. However, if you would be willing to join us, individually or with a group, in the near future for a week, two weeks, or more, we would LOVE to have you, and PROMISE you a trip to the beach!

There is all kinds of work to do, and we would love to introduce you to some of the people and some of the places that the Lord has led us to, taught us through, and is working through in Haiti. We'd love to have you come alongside of us in this tangible way to help transform Haiti for Christ through the teaching and sharing of His Word!

Click here to check out a "Please come and help!" video from our field (starring our soon-to-be famous field director).

Email me with any questions!

Meanwhile, this is the passage that the Lord seems to be running through and through my mind and heart this week...

Behold, I will do something new,

Now, it will spring forth;

Will you not be aware of it?

I will even make a roadway in the wilderness,

Rivers in the desert.

The beasts of the field will glorify me

Even the jackals and the ostriches,

Because I have given waters in the wilderness

And rivers in the desert,

To give drink to My chosen people.

The people whom I formed for Myself

Will declare my praise.

Isaiah 43:19-21

joy for the journey

My camera is broken, hence the recent splay of older photos. However, I've been waiting to post these photos from our annual "Baptism", a Haitian version of Freshman Initiation. I don't know HOW long this tradition goes back, but each year we've been a part of it, the party is more exciting than the last, with the first year students having to pass through more hurdles each year.

The 2nd, 3rd and 4th year students delegate a few leaders, who wear overflowing graduation robes and tell lots of jokes that we never understand. (Haitian humor...it's a learned art.) Then, the first year students, always in an uproar of laughter themselves, parade all about the yard, wearing white shirts, black pants, one leg rolled up, and carrying stones on their heads.

Finally there is a "service", with the "pastors" preaching at each man before hand, followed by a time of confession from the first year student, which always includes ridiculous made up sins, the more ridiculous, the better. "I like my bicycle. I ride it all the time. I am so sorry for this great sin. I will always walk after today, and I will walk until my feet have much pain!"

Then, they are ceremoniously drenched in a pitcher of cold water, followed by a puff of flour on their heads, one by one. All of this is excitedly captured by the ever-popular camera phone, along with lots of singing, and all followed by cookies and juice.

Lily was quite puzzled by the whole thing (as were we the first time we saw it), and while we'll never understand why this is such a highly anticipated and joyous day for our students, it is always a beautiful thing to watch these men and women, normally heavy-burdened by difficult lives and many heavy responsibilities, tease like children and laugh pure and loud.

We praise the Lord for these sweet, joyful times of FAMILY in the midst of the battle always raging.

Drip down, O heavens, from above,

And let the clouds pour down righteousness;

Let the earth open up

and salvation bear fruit,

and the righteousness spring up with it.

I, the Lord, have created it. Isaiah 45:8

not an upgrade. a NEW creation.

"Update available" my computer is always telling me. "Ready to install. Continue, or Not Now?"

Last night, God brought me to realize that THIS is the life I have been living in Him...each morning, praying for Him to "update" my soul. "Help me to DO better, BE better, LOVE better, try harder, be more patient, be more kind, be more like You than I was yesterday," I always pray.

Install Update, Please. Continue.

But last night, I wrestled with the Lord and my heart. I was tired of updates. Tired of the daily seeking the "improved" version of Stacey, and feeling my humanness and constant LACK. I just keep failing and falling short and trying harder and falling short and there HAS to be something different, something more than this to our Christian walk!

With Lily sleeping soundly in the room next to me, and Matt snoring softly in bed, I sat with my candle, Bible and "Jesus Paid it All" playing softly over and over, staring out into the midnight sky, watching the night guards flashing beams of light across the yards.

Slowly as the dawn, He spoke clearly, clearly to me of His great love for me. His great love for you. And it was through that revelation of His great love that understanding came. How had I missed it? How had I forgotten? Forgotten that in His great love, Jesus didn't die for "improved updates" of Stacey?

I was NOT redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from my futile ways, but with PRECIOUS blood, the blood of Christ!

He didn't die for me, isn't full of love for me, that I might still live a life enslaved to MYSELF, my "good efforts", the actions or words of others, my lofty goals or dreams, to sin, to selfishness...

He died to create in me a NEW CREATION. Not an improved creation. Not so that I could try hard, better. Not so that I could react to others words and actions. Not so that I could work harder to be Holy each day.

NO. He died that I might BE HOLY. That I might BE like Him! That my actions and thoughts and speech might be ENTIRELY directed by HIM and not at all by others or my circumstances or situations. He died that I might DIE to others, not 'try to be loving' to others. He set me FREE from the influence of my surroundings on my attitude, behavior and choices.

He died that I might "fix my hope completely on the grace of Jesus. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former things which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, BE HOLY yourselves in ALL your behavior, because it is written, You Shall be Holy, for I am Holy!" 1 Peter 1:13-15.

I don't have to live my old life, everyday before today, any longer. He died to give me NEW life, and has made me a NEW creation. THIS MORNING. Today.

That is what we are today. New creations. Free, so that we do not have to be AT ALL hindered or influenced by who we were yesterday, what we did yesterday, who is in our lives, our jobs, our families, our co-workers, our pasts, or our futures.

ALL that matters for us, family, is who HE IS today.

I don't have to live based on who I am today, who Matt is, who she is, who they are, what they do, what they say, what I feel, what I think. I can truly LIVE and FEEL and SPEAK and ACT based on who HE IS. I've been falling so short of this, trying and striving on my own strength, and last night, He brought me back, not by discipline or guilt, but by His Love.

What joy has filled my heart in my re-new-found freedom this morning!...as it says in 1st Peter 1:8..."Though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory."

It's not just about being forgiven for our sins. It's about being FREE from them, free from ME, free from you, free from circumstances, and able to live instead as HIS. I'm free from myself and able to be Holy as He is by His blood! Praise the Lord!

I'm having trouble articulating! Hoping my ramblings, hoping the cross, means something to you, New Creation You, today...

Read 1st Peter 1 here.

I hear the Savior say,

Your strength, indeed, is small

Child of weakness, watch and pray

Find in me, your All in All.

Lord, now, indeed I find

Your power, and Yours alone

Can change the lepers spots

And melt my heart of stone.

Jesus paid it ALL.

All, to Him I owe

Sin had left a crimson stain,

He washED it white as snow!

faith like potatoes and Abraham

Just this morning, I was reading through James, and the Holy Spirit was leaping the words of the pages of my Bible, making verses that I've read through many times before come to life. I don't know HOW God's Word, not matter where I'm led, continues to speak right to the heart of where I am: from the heart of my problem to the heart of His solution. It chisels away at my inward bend, revamps my attitude, takes away my breath with praise, stabilizes my feet on my Firm Foundation.

I've been feeling HUNGRY, lonely, insecure, human, and been feeling frustrated.

So I open the Word to the next chapter, and it is James 1...

"Consider it all joy when you encounter various trials...

If you lack wisdom, ask God, who will give it to you generously....

Ask in faith with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind....

Every good thing is from above, coming from the Father with whom there is NO variation or shifting shadow....

Prove yourself to be a DOER of the Word, not just a delusional hearer...

Keep yourself unstained by the world...

Wisdom that comes from Him is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, FULL of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy...

Submit to God. Resist the devil. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you...

Humble yourself in the presence of the Lord...

To one who knows the right thing to do, and yet does not do it, to him it is a sin...

The prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the earth for three years and six months. Then he prayed again, and the sky poured rain and the earth produced its fruit."

I've been thinking about these things all day, especially about having FAITH. NOT the kind of faith that I'm comfortable with, the "Everything will turn out ok" faith, but the "It did not rain on the earth for 3 years and six months" rain.

Then, for no reason, we decided tonight for 'date night' to finally watch a movie Troy and Trent sent in:

It is based on the book, which is the true story of a South African farmer who comes to know the Lord and is transformed by Him. From miracle rains, to a woman raising from the dead, to potatoes planted in dust and growing to a huge crop with almost no rain whatsoever, time after time that the farmer stepped out on faith and trusted the Lord, really trusted Him, He did it, in His own time and in His own way.

Lori, I've been promising for weeks to tell you this story, and tonight's the night. One of our students, a humble and godly man from my first year of teaching, has been asking me to pray since the moment I met him for he and his wife. For years after marriage they had tried to get pregnant, but lost child after child during her pregnancy. After over 10 years of trying, God finally gave them a son, whom they appropriately named Samuel.

However, they were praying for another, and each day in class he would share a "special prayer request. Please pray that my wife would have a child!" For the first several weeks of class, I said, "OK, we will pray!" but after a while, I questioned the situation. I soon found out that his wife was 39, that they had lost countless numbers of children, and that they only had one son, Samuel, who was now 9 years old.

Sauvelt himself was in his 40's, and I "wisely" began to realize that he was NOT going to have another child. Nonetheless, he asked us to pray for a child every single day of class my entire first year of teaching. He moved on to second year, and yet continued to ask me to pray for a child each time I asked about his family. I wanted to tell him SO many times about the 'reality' of the situation...that his wife was too old, there was clearly a medical problem, and to be satisfied with the miracle of Samuel and to move his prayers on to something more...possible, more probable. I even prayed many times, "Lord, help Sauvelt to not be too disappointed, help his heart! He is so earnest and in love with you, take care that his heart isn't broken by not having another child!

First week of school this year, I see Sauvelt, 3rd year student. "Savuelt! So good to see you!" I greeted him sincerely. "How is your wife? Samuel?"

"Oh, they are very good in the name of Jesus," he told me. "My wife, she will have the baby soon."

I almost missed the miracle because of the matter-of-fact way in which he said it.

"WHAT??!?"

"The baby! She is many months pregnant and will have our baby soon, if the Lord wills!" he said again, sincerely and joyfully, but in a very matter-of-fact manner.

He has always believed that the Lord could do it, and therefore is not at all surprised that He DID do it...I felt small and foolish, as I do again now just recalling the story, at my pathetic, reality-sized faith.

The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. James 5:16

I would not have prayed for no rain for 3 years, would not have planted potatoes in the dust, would not ever have put aside baby clothes for Sauvelt. HOW MUCH could He have done by my faith that He hasn't ever been trusted or even asked to do?

Do you trust me? I am READY to see what that looks like...

dry land with Jesus

Matt is safely and happily home, and today will be a full day with Matt beginning to teach a new course, evangelism this afternoon with the students and a visiting team, dinner with the team and a presentation of the seminary program to the team this evening! However, it's not the day that I want to share with you.

My devotional time this morning kicked me in the butt, giving me lots to think about and perhaps something 'revolutionary' to share about self-discipline and holiness, at least for my own heart.

"There was nothing of the nature of impulsive or thoughtless action or speech in our Lord,

but only a calm strength that never got into a panic.

Most of us develop our Christianity along the lines of OUR nature,

not along the lines of God's nature.

Impulsiveness is a trait of the natural life,

and our Lord always ignores it,

because it hinders the development of the life of a disciple.

Impulsiveness is all right in a child,

but is disastrous in a man or woman--

an impulsive adult is always a spoiled person.

Impulsiveness needs to be trained into intuition through discipline.

Walking on water is easy to someone with impulsive boldness,

but walking on dry land as a disciple of Jesus Christ is something altogether different.

We do not need the grace of God to withstand crises-

human nature and pride are sufficient for us to face the stress and strain magnificently.

But it DOES require the supernatural grace of God

to live 24 hours of every day as a saint,

going through drudgery, and living an ordinary,

unnoticed, and ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus.

It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God--but we do not!

We HAVE to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and HOLY on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people...and this is not learned in 5 minutes.

'Build yourself on a most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit' Jude 1:20

--O. Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, October 21st.

If THIS is what I want: not to be a person of impulsive action, impulsive speech, or even impulsive LOVE, but instead to be a DISCIPLE, a saint, Holy, Spirit filled, developed along the lines of God's character, EXCEPTIONAL in my day to day living before the Lord...

then I have quite a bit to learn!

It is what I want.

matt, church, and what more I could be doing with the language everyone wants!

Matt is coming home tomorrow (hopefully!) and we are VERY ready to have him back! What a wonderful reminder his absence has been of what an attentive, caring, God-fearing, sacrificial, helpful and loving father and husband and best friend Lily and I have in Matt! Despite all of the ways we have seen and felt the Lord working in our hearts during this time apart, we will be quite thankful to be seeking the Lord together TOGETHER. He had a wonderful residency in Jackson, had this past weekend with his family in Philly (finally got to meet that sweet baby nephew of ours!), spends some time tonight and tomorrow in Florida with Sam and Cammie (before they head for Kansas) and then flies back in tomorrow afternoon!

Meanwhile, Lily and I have had a full weekend. I taught my final Saturday English class, and man, the Lord is putting a spark in my heart regarding ESL (English as a Second Language) as and Evangelical tool. I just don't know HOW else I could build relationships with 50 men and women, largely non-Christian, who are out in Haiti, and tell them about Christ EVERY week. I mean, on Saturdays we have UN translators, airline employees, nurses, nuns, doctors, students, business owners, administrators and government employees COME from all over to sit for almost THREE hours (every Saturday for 9 months) and to listen to, absorb, write down, and SHARE every word we say.

After working with my group of 50 just 2 Saturdays, I could feel the change in their attitudes as they began to get to know me and let me know them some, too. The coldness that I felt the first week was entirely absent yesterday. What an AWESOME ministry opportunity, not just to reach these 50, but to then have these 50 reach circles of Haitians (and UN...Brazilians, Chileans) throughout the North that I would NEVER have a chance to talk to!

It was awesome, and I need to keep thinking about how I might be able to use the language I was born into as an awesome evangelical tool. I would also want to change the Christian curriculum we currently use at the Seminary to make it Evangelical in nature. I am confident that if we were able to develop EVERY grammar/vocabulary/speech lesson into a evangelical format, we would still have the same huge numbers of non-Christians coming for class...there are just not many native English speakers here to learn from! Hmmm...lots to think and pray about! Share your ideas/thoughts/experiences...

Today Kate, Lily and I went to Paul's church in town. He and the other two men Matt went to Jackson with returned to Haiti yesterday, so it was wonderful to hear a bit about his experiences today and to hear a "I've been studying the Bible 10 hours a day for 2 weeks!" fired up sermon. Paul is a godly and unique man, and his family is just as much of an encouragement to us as he is.

Ah, the harvest here is SO ripe and the work is SO sweet. Many days, like Saturday, with 50 faces listening in anticipation as I talked about what it means to "glorify God in all that we do", I have to stop in my tracks and praise the Lord for using ME, when I have nothing of value to offer outside of Him, when He doesn't need me in the least, to make Him known here in Haiti, here in the world!

I sought the Lord,

and He answered me,

and delivered me from all my fears.

They looked to Him and were RADIANT,

and their faces will never be ashamed.

This poor man cried,

and the Lord heard him

and saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him,

and rescues them.

O, Taste and see that the Lord is good!

How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!

Psalm 34

a great cloud of witnesses

When I was driving out to say good-bye to Sam and Cammie the other night, the sky was proclaiming the glory of God! It was full of clouds my mom always loved, calling them “heaven clouds”. I can still hear her pointing them out, “Look, kids! Can’t you just picture Jesus coming back in clouds like those!”

It was with a heavy heart that Lily and I left Sam, Cammie, Azi and Gideon at the airport this morning. For a year now they have worked alongside of our brothers and sisters here in Haiti, and I am touched even now to realize how the Lord has touched and grown our hearts through them.

I can honestly say I have never met someone whose clear spiritual gift, calling and passion was evangelism. For a year we have watched Cammie tell old people, young people, Haitian people, American people, UN, police, homeless people, church people, voodoo people, beach people, bus people, crazy people, mean people, rude people, happy people and lost people…about Jesus. It didn’t matter if it was our “day off at the beach” or if the crowd of burly men were all holding guns. “Do you know Jesus? Can I tell you about Him?” is as natural a question for Cammie as “How are you today?”

And I can honestly say I have never met someone so unphased by the opinions of man as Sam. When Paul says, “For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond servant of Christ!” in Galatians 1, I have always wondered what that would BE like. To truly NOT care about what ANYONE but God thought…to not live with concern for ANY opinion aside from the opinion of Our Father. For a year we have seen what that looks like in Sam, a church-planter.

How do you live, how do you work, how do you walk alongside people such as these and not be changed? Praise the Lord, it would have been impossible! So many of our blogs this past year about going out and telling people about our Lord have been because of the example of Christ in these two. God has used Sam and Cammie this past year to help bring Matt and I to a far deeper walk with Him, boldly seeking Him with hungry hearts unlike we ever have before and putting that into practice in ways we had never dared nor even dreamed of.

We are deeply sad to see them go. Yet tonight, I praise the Lord! I praise the Lord for bringing them, and for aligning our lives for a time. I praise the Lord for the examples of evangelism and church-planting and 'pouring out' that they have been. I praise the Lord for their children, and for their friendship. We are thankful to add them to our "great cloud of witnesses surrounding us," that Hebrews 12:1 talks about.

Sam and Cammie are not perfect people. But we have seen them love the Lord and the sound of His voice and the touch of His hand and the warmth of His delight more than they have loved themselves, us, or the even the Haitian people.

Praise the Lord, we are thankful.

"Now they observed the confidence of Peter and John...and were amazed, and began to recognize them as people who had been with Jesus." Acts 4:13

"Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe; for our God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12:28

You can follow Sam and Cammie's blog here.

deeply rooted in righteousness

Matt is feeling much better (thank you!), my fantastic sister is safely back in freezing Chicago, and Dad, Lily and I spent part of the day painting (let's just say I wasn't the only one covered in paint for a change). Tomorrow is one of my favorite days of the year in English class: "March of the Penguins" day. We have discussed the continents, had a large exam today, and will watch 20 minutes of Antarctica tomorrow...always such a blast for me and the guys! Will let you know how it goes!

FanFan (pronounced FonFon), a past student of Matt's and a good friend, has been filling in for him while he's gone, not just at the Seminary but also in town for Matt's Monday classes.

FanFan's been having a blast and it's always a joy to replace yourself and have everything continue to go well. We are blessed, blessed, blessed to be surrounded by some good, capable, strong and godly Haitian leaders.

Tomorrow is week two of our women's Bible study, working through Psalm 120. I am looking forward to this! We also have a work team from Illinois coming tomorrow to work on the Seminary. The date for the new site dedication has been set for January 11th, and there is still a large amount to do!

While life continues to almost blur by, each day filled by stresses and sweet moments, quite times, laughter, progress, pain and learning, it continues to be His Word that keeps me grounded. Schedules change, people come and go, all the things I try to find stability in continue to shift and change...it truly IS HIM and Him alone that is my comfort, my safe-place, my firm foundation.

Hebrews 11 this morning reminded me of this again (as if life itself isn't enough of a reminder!).

The chapter runs through the faith testimonies of so many godly people. Abraham, willing to give up his long-awaited and only son. Moses, "choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God than enjoy the passing pleasures of sin", obeyed time and time again in terrifying situations. Rahab, Gideon, Samson, David, Samuel...all who did mighty things by faith in the Lord.

Then, those who had no testimonies of parting seas, conquering kingdoms, escaping death. "Others were tortured, not accepting their release, so that they might obtain what is better; and others experienced mockings and scourgings, chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; They went about in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill treated, wandering homeless."

All, men and women who lived with their confidence firmly planted in the Lord. "The righteous," Isaiah 57:2 says, "The righteous man enters into peace; they rest well in their beds, each one who walks in an upright way."

To be righteous, as He is, in grand victorious battles or chains and imprisonment...

smile, swim, eat sand

We've had a fantastic last few days, in which Dad and Lisa were able to join me for class, we got to go to the pool with good friends Sam, Cammie, Azi and Gideon, watch Elmo with Lily's Bundy buddies, and got to spend today as a family at the beach! We are all missing Matt, who is sick in Jackson (please pray!), yet are so thankful for this time God has given us together as a family and as friends! Bigger blog tomorrow, and more photos on Lily's blog...

the joy of family and of His voice

Our family has safely arrived and we've enjoyed two very warm and full days together...I just LOVE Dad and Lisa! And obviously, so does Lily! Yesterday she got to "ride" a motorcycle with her buddy Gideon and Grandpa, and today got to visit some friends with Aunt Lee.

Lisa and Dad have also gotten to spend some good time with me in the classroom, maintaining relationships with students from previous visits and meeting my new first year class. Lisa and I always get abundant comments about being "twins", and my Dad about being such a "beau garcon"...good looking guy! Sharing our lives and work with them is always such a mighty blessing.

Meanwhile, Matt has been enjoying some really powerful moments in Jackson, Mississippi. There have been "Bible people" and godly men and women from around the globe there, taking part in a conference that is a part of their master's studies, and Matt has been feeling the Lord closely...We both praise the Lord for meeting him in such a special way and for the way He is shaping and refining and directing Matt's heart.

Please pray that we might be anxious and determined to be 'worthy of the calling' and have our eyes looking only to hand of our Master...

(1 Thess. 2:12, Ps. 123, Acts 5)

Matt's 'family', my family, growth!

Matt has safely arrived in Jackson, happy to be in a cooler climate with people that love to study the Bible, dead languages and theology as much as he does :) I always tell the Lord that He did not make many people like Matt, who takes a 500 page book on Old Testament Theology to the beach on his honeymoon, or who takes "Hebrew Grammar" books with him everywhere in case he gets a spare moment of 'free time'! And yet, Matt heads to Jackson and finds himself in the midst of dozens of people just like him: bliss :)

It's been a bit sad without him, especially for Lily, who continues to crawl around the house, room to room, calling "Dah-dah-dah!" which usually brings him running!

However, I have a BEAUTIFUL praise: Tomorrow my father and sister are flying into Port-au-Prince and then up to Cap-Haitien, and are scheduled to arrive around 2:30! Lily and I are SO excited, and it will be wonderful to not only have their help with Lily and life (already, I need my dad to open 2 containers for me), but I am also excited about the joy and encouragement of their wonderful presence. Aside from Matt, these are my two dearest friends in world, and I cannot WAIT to have 5 (Lisa) and 7 (Dad) days with them!

Praise the Lord for family being there for you when you need them the most!

Tomorrow morning, I will plunge into the Psalms of Ascent (Psalms 120-134) alongside of 12 other women! Preparing this study has been quite the challenge: first, because the Lord is working on my own heart as I prepare, and second, because of the language! Teaching a Bible study in Creole is not only challenging because of teaching in a second language, but also because of the Creole Bible. It is frequently quite different than any version of English Bibles, and it is taking quite a bit of extra work comparing the two texts and trying to use the texts to bring about the same basic meaning (I'm understanding again why Matt teaching the ORIGINAL language of the OT is so important!)

Anyway, please be praying for us around 9 am Tuesday morning, that the Lord would give us understanding of His Word (and our languages) and that we might be able to do what Hebrews 6:1 instructs us to do: Press on towards maturity in Christ.

English and the one thing that matters most...

I headed down to the Seminary today, my "day off", a bit begrudgingly to fulfill part of a favor for a good friend. Lucner left today for Mississippi, followed tomorrow by Matt (they'll meet up in Florida and head on to Jackson). However, each Saturday Lucner teaches a 2.5 hour English course and he had asked me to please substitute teach for him the three Saturdays that he'll be gone.

There isn't much we wouldn't do to help Luke, so I agreed, only really realizing this morning how much I did NOT want to teach English, for 2.5 hours, on a Saturday, the day before Matt left for over two weeks, in a HOT hot classroom to 40 people.

However, I knew from Luke that there were going to be LOTS of non-Christian businessmen and women, students and professionals there, so I tried to adjust my attitude as one of: "This could be a great opportunity to talk about Christ to people that are very lost but VERY interested in English!"

So, I prepared lessons throughout the day without really knowing what to expect. Luke's instructions were: "You teach English. Do whatever you want." So, with Bible verses, praise music, homework, exercises and vocab. cards in tow, I headed down to class and entered a very hot, but not at all warm, atmosphere. I am so used to teaching pastors, or at least men and women who know and love the Lord.

Instead, today I found a room, of not 40, but SIXTY men and women, most of whom obviously did NOT emit the Holy Spirit. We always say that Haiti is a land of extreme darkness. It's darkness is emitted through its people that don't know the Lord. The spirit of joy, hospitality, of humility, and of peace that emits from my seminary students was replaced today with a cynical spirit of harshness, pride, rudeness.

They were there for a business transaction. They wanted English. They had paid. Fork it over.

Needless to say, it didn't take long before I was sending up small prayers, "Lord, help me! Lord, give me boldness, give me joy, give me words!" A few bright lights of pastor's wives and mission employees that I knew scattered throughout the crowd helped enormously, and with some hesitation, I began with what I had prepared, John 3:16.

Despite the obvious coldness of the group, John 3:16 was still English, and I was relieved to find every man and woman repeating after me loudly, over and over, "God loved the world so much that He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, and if we believe in Him, we will not perish but live eternally." We broke it down, talking about what each portion was in Creole. He gave me boldness and I took it a step further than translation, discussing what each portion MEANT, using myself as an example, talking about what Jesus did for ME. It was awesome...proclaiming the salvation message loudly with 60 students, most of which seemed to not know it already

We then worked our way through a song Luke had picked, "He is Exalted"...more translating, more explaining, "He is the Lord, Forever His truth shall reign!"

Singing this with them, the Lord began to allow my eyes and heart to see the humanity around me as He does...I stared into dark dark eyes that had nothing behind them, and felt broken. Most, I felt awful for having such a bad attitude! Here He had placed me smack in the midst of darkness IN Emmaus Biblical Seminary's classroom, giving me 2 and a half hours of UNdivided attention to say WHATEVER I wanted to 60 men and women of all walks of Haitian life, most on the forefront of business and worldliness here in Haiti! PRAISE THE LORD!

He broke my heart in some other ways, too. After a few minutes of teaching, I realized that one of the students was actually a little girl, maybe about 8 years old. I was going to question her being in an "Adult Learning" class, but thought I would wait until class was over. However, as class continued, I realized she wasn't there alone, but with her mother. As the class progressed, I realized that the little girl was doing all of the work, taking notes, reading each vocabulary word or phrase from the chalkboard to her mom, her mom dictating to her what to write. My heart filled with sadness, realizing finally that this woman in her 30s couldn't read or write. Her child did it for her, while she struggled to learn English orally.

An older man, a friend of ours, on the other side of the classroom continually was trying to get those around him to help him, though it didn't seem like anyone else was needing help. I realized after he submitted a quiz with his name on the top and some "X's" and some long lines and nothing else that he also couldn't write, but had no one there to help him. I wanted to cry...

What a heartbreaking reminder of that fact that no matter HOW long we live here, we will NEVER understand.

It is not enough to realize just that I've been to Disney World when SO MANY in this world will never have the chance. It's not just that I got to go to summer camp as a kid, that I had a car with my brother when I was 16, that we went on family vacation each Easter. NOT enough that I am typing this on my laptop, that a printer sits beside me and a fan is whirling overhead, representing a generator in the distance and gas to fill it with.

It's not just that I've had extras that others haven't. It's that I've NEVER slept in the mud! I have NEVER been hungry. I have NEVER been unable to feed Lily, never put her to bed hungry after giving her dirty water to drink. I have never chosen between food or clothing, clothing or schooling, supporting my brothers and sisters OR learning to READ.

I stood dripping with sweat in front of a class of 60, and could NOT, NOT EVER, understand where they are from.

And yet, Disney World or mud hut, writing novels or chicken scratch, I HAVE been lost. I was BORN it. Born empty eyed and living for myself. And I have well known lost people...those who are dripping with opportunity, the world at their fingertips, but just as dark eyed, empty spirited, and self-centered as the friends I met today.

Poor, rich or in the middle, educated, illiterate, passport to the globe or village, birth to death:

God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever will believe in Him will not perish but have LIFE.

more than the watchmen wait for the morning

Despite seeing the Lord at work so clearly on a daily basis, and the joy that we continue to experience while living alongside of our brothers and sisters here in Haiti, we have been simultaneously feeling discouraged, depressed and even a bit despairing.

We have been feeling the type of frustration and sadness that forces us to the Lord...we cannot come to Him later, cannot seek Him when we're 'finished', cannot wait until a better time. We need Him. NOW. Need to hear His voice, feel His hand, see His face. We praise the Lord for times such as these!

Not coincidentally, I am also studying overtime to prepare for a Bible study God's doing through me starting next week. In my desperation, He's had me clinging to the Scriptures I'm studying: the Psalms of Ascent, Psalm 120-134.

Something Matt has taught me is to "pray" Scripture...claim it as my own and put my name in there, my story, MY God.

And something God has done is continue to bring the Scriptures to life in a way they never were before coming to Haiti...praise the Lord for His faithfulness to speak to us where we are!

Today, this is what that looks like: (all taken from Psalms 120-134)

In my trouble I cried to the Lord,

and He answered me!

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains (outside my window)

From where shall my help come?

My help comes from You,

maker of heaven and earth.

You will not allow my foot to slip;

You who keep me will NOT slumber.

You are my keeper;

You are my shade (in the scorching sun overhead)

The sun will not smite you by day,

and You will protect me from all evil;

You will guard our going out (to class, to evangelize, to town) and our coming in,

from this time forth and forever.

Behold, as the eyes of the servants look to the hand of their master,

As the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress,

(As the eyes of the poor to the hand of the foreigner, hoping, relying, desperate for good things)

So MY eyes look to YOU.

Be gracious to me, O Lord, be gracious.

My soul is filled with the scoffing of those who are at ease.

Had it not been for YOU,

O Lord, had it not been for YOU on our side,

the waters (hardship, heartbreak, disappointment, devestations) would have engulfed us;

The raging waters would have swept over our souls.

But blessed be the Lord, who has not given us over!

The Lord has done great things for us;

We are GLAD.

Unless YOU Lord build this house,

we labor in vain as we build it;

Unless YOU Lord guard the city,

our watchmen keep awake in vain.

Out of the depts I have cried to You,

O Lord, Lord, hear my voice!

Let your ears be attentive to my voice.

If You, LORD, should mark iniquities,

O Lord, who could stand? (AMEN, not me!)

There is forgiveness with You! (Amen again)

My soul waits for the Lord

MORE than the watchmen wait for the morning;

(Our watchmen, they walk about our home all night long...how anxious they must be to see the sun, how glad, how joyful and relieved to feel its warmth after the long dark night!)

Indeed, more than the watchmen for the morning,

my soul waits for YOU.

O, Stacey, hope in the Lord;

For in Him there is lovingkindness.

I will not sleep,

Until I find a place for the Lord to dwell.

Waiting on Him with great anticipation...